Toxic Release
I stand shaking in my underwear thinking I was ready for an early nap. I look down at the piece of paper within my hand that is crumpled on the edges and damp from a couple of my tears. It is honestly not much, just a couple extra bucks in the bank. I shouldn’t be this emotional. Yet, this is my life now I guess; has been for the last 2 years since getting out of that hellhole called a home. College may not be a saving grace for whatever is broken in me--and a lot is--but I’ll gladly take this.
Treating myself with a nice meal, that is what awaits me.
This is what I’ve been reduced to, a series of small victories. For such a shit day this is all it takes to send me over the edge towards negligible happiness. Again though, I welcome it and always will. I need it. Fuck you mom; this is one thing you can’t ruin for your daughter. Every scrap of independence I have now is free from your suffocating control and standards. All the things you did and never did for me have led me to this. I’m not sure if I can ever fix myself, but I try. I keep trying.
Today wasn’t a good day though. Shit, I lived another failure of a day. I snapped at every boy who even tried to so much as send a pleasant greeting my way. I had a lot on my mind sure, but that was still rude of me. I blame all those boyfriend you cycled through Mom. The ones I could never trust and that you let own you. The ones that beat me. It is no wonder I feel such cautionary reservations.
You did this to me.
Today really wasn’t a good day. I shoved my only friend Milly out of my face after making only a 2nd attempt at asking for my help. I always feel like I’m being asked too much of. Probably thanks to all that you unnecessarily asked of your daughter mom. You were never the one that wanted to put in the work or give an honest effort. No, you had your daughter for that. You had your daughter for all your needs, a slave that could toil away for you after Dad died. Now I can’t even be bothered with a simple studying request from a friend.
You did this to me.
Today fucking sucked! I yelled at a teacher! I punched another person’s car! I want to let it all out! This baggage you’ve left me with and your unrelenting presence that I thought I could escape! But the nightmares, you keep following me in my nightmares! They are premonitions, I can feel it. You are coming to ruin me again aren't you!?
YOU DID THIS TO ME!
I collapse in a heap onto my bed, trying to stop. The thoughts want to escape but my mouth wont let them. There is nothing I’d be allowed to do that could ever let me let loose all this pent up frustration. I’m aimless at this school and still as trapped as ever. I’ve become an asshole like her whom only thinks of themself. Nothing but toxic residue pumps through my veins. I can feel it, thick and moving like molasses, yet warm with rage. My rage is caged for now, but for how long? What do I do? I can feel myself growing sicker by the day. I can also feel myself enjoying it. Expelling all that sickness inside me out onto the world. To be unfortunately frank, and I hate myself for even thinking this, I love it.
Looking at the mirror on my wall I see I’m living a half life. Whatever hope there once was has been… no, the small victories. Think of the smaller things that will soon build to bigger ones. They are the signs that show me I can escape this toxic feeling. I’ve already escaped her. The rest will come.
I hear my phone ringing. Odd, this is a private number. I answer in a somber tone.
“Hello?”
“Oh! Good, Vanessa dear.”
Oh no, it is her.
“How did you get this number!?”
I’m panicking. I can’t have this right now. If it is her calling that can only mean something terrible has happened or that she wants something from me. I should just hang up.
“I contacted the school of course. I’m your mom I should be able to contact you. Look, what is important is that I got into uh… Bit of an accident lets say a while ago and I’m in desperate need of money. So I went to your bank and—”
Fuck I forgot to switch accounts! No, no, no!
“You bitch, how much did you take!?”
I hear the real woman come out.
“Don’t you snap at me you little shit! Running away and leaving me here to fend for myself! After all I’ve done for you! You know how hard it has been for me to make ends meat!?”
My heart is thumping faster and my vision is going green. Strange, I’d always heard of seeing red. It is like my vision has been poisoned. Her voice alone has stirred the toxins inside me. Damnit, my body feels like it is stressing at the seams, like something wants to break out. It hurts!
“HOW MUCH DID YOU TAKE!?”
My voice feels more like a roar, my eyes crying something thicker than tears. I grit my teeth, which feel sharper now, like a row of rattling razors ready to tear into someone. I know the answer will destroy me but I have to know. I have to know so I can know how much I need to pay her back… how much I have to make her hurt.
“I took all of it okay! Not like you need that money right now. You’ll make it back easy with that big, important job of—”
I throw the phone at the wall and break it, silencing her devil’s voice. I scream at the top of my lungs with a heavier tenor than I recall being able to. It is as if a monster inside me is wailing in agony. I pick up any object I can and toss it all about room. Breaking whatever I can find. Why can’t I be granted any mercy!? What have I done to deserve this!? Why can’t I feel any release!? I want to let go. I want to rid myself of this anger.
A shattered glass finally stops me, cutting my index finger. Staring at it, I see a purple ooze trickling from the wound in the place of blood. It is a sickly mucus that seems bent on gushing out of me faster and faster. I put pressure on it with my other hand and finally get it to stop. What the hell was that?
A few green splotches land on my hand. Now these are actually the color of mucus. No, a deeper green color like the one that keeps staining my vision since the phone call. Not just that, but my vision is sharper and more focused than before, the clarity of everything around me feeling ripe and highly textured. I wipe at the tears dripping from my eyes to discover the green fluid is them. I step back in shock, next feeling at my teeth. They are fangs! All my teeth are sharp fangs like that of an animal!
“W-What!? What is going on?”
A body-numbing explosion of raw brutality surges through me and I put both hands on my head and scream. All that tension that had been stewing within me during the call feels like it erupted inside me and is trying to expand. It is something that craves violence, degeneracy, everything I try so hard to bury away. I can’t do it anymore, I can feel it wants out. My head is going to explode, my body is going to tear apart, I can feel it!
“STOP! I can’t take it anymore!”
Every muscle in my body bulks in unison and I feel a sudden separation from my human skin. It feels as if it isn't even there anymore. Whatever has taken over me has taken a physical shape… am I that shape now? I can feel it. Yes… its surprisingly exhilarating. No, it continues to grow. It is very exhilarating! It is unlocking a power I never knew I had. My anger and hatred and frustration are being liberated, given itself a body. It wants out! I want out!
“Gah! I want to let it all goooh!!”
I vomit out toxic gunk. I think I’m ridding myself of all the good toxins within me. No matter. I don’t want them anymore. Hell, I am no longer a human in need of them as far as I’m concerned.
My human skin expands and tears at my feet, unable to contain the monster growing inside. Sharp claws are breaking my skin, shredding it to pieces as what appears to be giant, fox like feet emerge from the remains. My legs are bulking up with obscene muscle making my skin look like jeans tearing apart. Hard plateaus and rolling hills of strength in my thighs, oh the sensations! I’m growing taller to compensate too. My knees are dislocating as my legs elongate and I can feel my ankles stretching out and rising higher up on my legs. I feel the animal pads on my now pawed feet tapping in delight at the texture of broken glass on the floor. My handiwork. And so much more will be broken by this beast.
Yeah, the word beast keeps repeating in my mind, the name one of that woman’s bastard boyfriends would often call me. Various images of what such a beast could be are dancing in my head. I don’t care what sort of beast that I am, I just want to live how a beast should. I’m done hiding who I am!
I look down at my beastly legs peering thorough the slashes in my skin. A beautiful purple that mirrors my feelings colors what appears to be slimy fur. It resembles the mucus texture that dripped from my finger. I truly am a toxic being, haha.
I flex my arms as I continue to emerge from my cocoon. The fragile arms from before are gone and have been replaced by toned, corded meat. My biceps are popping out along with goopy tuffs of fur all across my arm. Maybe if I flex more I can, ahhhh yes! The skin on my arms tore away from the skin on my shoulders, allowing my arms to fully breathe. I look down and laugh at the shreds of human skin that covered my arms now lying on the floor.
My belly has been bulging for the last few moments as my tight core continues to thicken and grow. It needs to be a steel fortress to contain all the fiery rage being held within. It can never bend or melt, a tall task. Oh, but I am built for this. OHHH!!
Bending over I tense up my entire body, allowing the muscle in my backside to expand and crown out from the pitiful human skin. I then arch back, allowing my chest and stomach to heave. My beastly breasts are devouring all the fat and tissue of my human ones and adding it to their own. I feel them jiggling and expanding, pushing hard upwards against the downward pull of my belly--the skin on my front being torn in two directions. A ferocious pair of 10-pack abs I can see pressing against the form fitting skin. They look chiseled from marble, with the crevices as deep and dark as a trench. Soon they will be free, just like my breasts. Oh… my beautiful breasts. Triple their old size and with thick, plump nipples teased by the human trappings holding on for dear life. They are the fruits of my unbridled hate, the tits I always deserved!
I can’t help but moan in ecstasy. I clutch at one of my trembling breasts and give a tight squeeze, digging my claws into the skin and twisting. This human has had enough fun. I rip the remains of her chest off of my own just as my abs tug at the skin below. It is a beautiful descent of human remains to the floor, falling as softly as snow.
Feeling nothing but euphoria washing over me, my fresh new pussy kisses the air as my hips snap wider and with the skin to reveal it. It is quivering at the strength billowing within my body. I don’t blame it, my whole body is filled with such life! Sweet hatred filling me up and concentrating like a fire at the base of my spine. Right, every beast needs a tail. I just wasn’t expecting it to be this good, surely the most intoxicating moment of my body’s celebration yet. I can see it building under the remaining human skin on my lower body, building up like a growth. It has nowhere to break free so it begins to slither towards the only opening available, what is left of the human’s asshole.
I push as hard as I can. I’ve never given birth but I wonder if this is what it feels like, the stress on the body that takes all your willpower. Like a mother I want to see it break through. It’s coming, it’s coming!
I can feel my face pushing forward as well, opposite direction from the pull on my tail. My body is riddled with pleasure and pain. A deep bellowing rapture-ridden roar is building inside me. It can’t release it until I’m complete though and free of this human. My muzzle knows this and continues to grow, pushing the human’s face out into a disfigured, crumpled shape. I can see through the eyeholes of my former skin like a mask. The mouth of the human mask stretches out on my emerging snout which is piercing through the mouthole like a spear, my wet dog nose the tip.
It’s coming! It’s coming! My tail is finally slithering out of the human’s ass, wagging about as the slimy fur fluffs up. Longer it grows, thicker it grows! Yes, break the skin! Be free!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whatever noise I am making I cannot describe. It sounds beautiful either way. All of the pain, all of the pleasure coalescing into a monstrous vocalization that only I can truly appreciate. For it is my agony and sweet release, that which is unique to me. Everyone else may run scared, but for me it is sweet music.
My tail has split the asshole and skin asunder, the tattered remains falling to the floor as all the others. The tail is reminiscent of a fox. My muzzle too, somewhat fox-like in nature. My howling maw tore the human mask apart as I can see it lying on the floor before me as I hunch over, staring at the corpse of what I once was.
I wobble to my feet, the excited slit between my thunder thighs expelling my toxic dew. I make my way to a mirror and gaze upon my frightening glory. I’m nearly 8 feet tall now, purple fur with the consistency of slime covering my whole body aside from a light purple, skin-toned underbelly that is my torso up to my nose. My hair is now messy and falls on both sides of my face down towards my chest. It has a punkish touch with green color and a splash of yellow at the ends. Giant, demong-stag horns protrude out from the thick of my hair on the backside of my head. Long ears like those of a fennec fox shoot out magnificently from my head. Oh what a glorious beast I have become. She is finally free.
The rage hasn’t died either, nor has the pleasure. It is all building again, my green slit eyes growing dilated. Green slime slips out of my eyes as my anger intensifies, thinking back to that woman. Toxic bubbles pop and float away from my body as I heat up, long slimy tendrils with green tips slither out of my backside and whip at the walls in a frenzy. My heart is thumping violently once more. I bare my shark-like smile. It is time to end this!
…
“AAHHH!! STOP!”
I awake from another nightmare. The worst yet. My whole body is in a sweat.
“Just a nightmare. Just a…?”
There is a destroyed room around me, but not my room. The sprawled and broken furniture and the wallpaper shredded by claw marks looks familiar but like something I've tried to purge from my memories. Wait, claws!?
I kick myself back towards a wall and shake. This room! Is it her room!? What was once my… home.
Blood is everywhere and a trail of it is heading right towards me. That was no nightmare, the realization is setting in. And this blood. Even more, this feeling in my belly. I feel full. I feel like I’ve taken in an entire family’s worth of meals. The bulge in my stomach is staring me dead in the face. What have I done? I know what I’ve done, but why!? Why am I feeling relief?
I poke at my belly and I feel nothing, the initial reactions simmering out into a cold, uncaring calm. I start to awake to my predicament. I was consumed by my anger and it consumed her. That was the short of it. The memories of just how I did it to her were coming back to me slowly but surely. I let them play out with only minor trembling as I grabbed a piece of broken glass to look at myself.
Staring at my reflection I can see the green and yellow hair and the green pupils of the beast still present on my human body that had returned to me. My canines are longer than usual but all my other teeth have reverted back. Aside from that I look completely human again.
I know better though. I am a monster now. I lost the fight and let it loose. I can never go back. Those feelings I felt when I… I can’t…
“She is finally gone.”
I feel a few tears fall from my face. They are human tears this time.
I smile.
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