How I Met Your Pikachu
“Dad, dad! Tell us a Christmas story!” little Billy shouted as he and his sister Lisa gathered around their father sat near an open fire. Their papa loomed large on his reclining chair but carried a warm serenity to him despite his size.
“You little tots really should be getting to bed, but I suppose I can’t say no when in such a mood.” Dad said with a chuckle. “This time of year is very special for me. As you know, I met your mother this time of year.”
“Why do you never tell us that story dad? Of how you met mom?” little Lisa pouted.
Dad broke a nervous sweat and replied, “Thaaat, isn’t a story meant for children is why.”
Dad then mumbled below his breath. The kids were restless though and making a fuss. Mom was out at the moment shopping and they felt this was their opportunity to pressure Dad into it.
“Okay fine, fine! I’ll tell the tale.” Dad frantically agreed. “But, let me frame things in a way more uh… fit for you children.”
Clearing his throat, Dad began…
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through this house
Not a creature was stirring, aside from a Pikachu mouse;
“You had a Pikachu?” Billy interrupted.
“Yes, well not exactly. It sort of snuck into the house. Are you gonna let me tell the story son?”
Billy zipped his lips and Dad continued…
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
Stuffed by a Delibird who’d already been there;
“A Delibird?” Lisa commented confused.
“Yes, they help Santa deliver gifts.” Dad responded before shushing her…
The Pikachu had contemplated going to bed,
But visions of a human admired danced in its head;
Your Dad laid asleep, all warm in his cap,
Having settled his brain for a long winter’s nap,
When out in the living room there arose such a clatter,
Dad sprang from his bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the fireplace I flew like a flash,
Flipped on the lights and heard a loud crash.
The moon shined down on the wood floor below,
Revealing Pikachu and a stone wrapped in a glow,
“Oh! Did Delibird put a stone in the stocking?” Billy asked excitedly.
“Is the Pikachu evolving?” Asked Lisa.
Dad stomped his foot and said, “Please, will you two stop interrupting! This is awkward enough as it is.”
The kids straightened up and silenced themselves, still unsure of what this had to do with their mother…
To Dad’s shocked eyes, its body expanded like dough,
Pikachu’s arms and legs, starting to grow,
The critter wailed, as its body strained,
A beauty kicking inside, barely contained.
“Uuuhh, Lisa? Where is this story going?” Billy whispered with slight concern, quiet enough that Dad couldn’t hear.
“I don’t know, but I have a weird feeling.”
Louder than Loudred his choruses became,
The struggling Pokemon shouting out its name,
Pika, Pika, Pikachuuu!
Chaaa, Pika, Pikachuuu!
Its face began to rustle, above a bulge in its throat,
His voice becoming wrapped in a feminine coat,
Pikaaah, Pikaahn, Pika Piiii!
Pikoooh, Piii’m, Piraking freee!
Both kids tensed up, confused by Dad’s imitation of Pikachu’s cries. It was embarrassing and they were thankful Mom wasn’t around to hear it.
So up the chimney the choruses flew,
As the imprint of a woman, tried to break through.
The skin of Pika’s neck began to roll,
Taking shape of a face, puncturing a hole,
As I backed slowly away, scared of what I saw,
A woman burst through the hole, tearing it open like a maw.
“D-Dad…?” Lisa called out nervously.
“Shush. We are getting to the important part.”
With twintails bright pink, snaking out Pika’s ears,
Your Mom’s eyes glistened, quelling some of my fears,
The skin of Pika’s face had flung on her back,
Now nothing but a hoodie that began to slack.
The two kids could do nothing but stare on in shock, enraptured by a story, while unbelievable, they could feel in their hearts was true. Dad seemed overjoyed, as if a weight had been lifted…
Her eyes--how they twinkled! Her dimples how merry!
Her cheeks flushed like roses, far better than the old cherry!
Her glossy lips lifted into a style very familiar,
Shaped like a Pikachu’s mouth, quite similar.
The stump of a dick she held tight down below,
Was crushed by thick thighs trying to grow;
Her round belly broadened and stretched out wide,
Then slimming before her torso crashed in at each side.
All that chub and plump, carried up to her chest,
Forming two hefty sugarplums which rivaled the best;
Lisa looked down with resignation, no words to be said, while Billy cocked his head and grew only more fascinated and shocked. Dad continued with more fervor and without a care in the world…
A wink of her eye, and a twist of her body,
Skin on limbs tore, and formed something less shoddy;
Loose skin puffed into bloomers, around a wide ass,
The rest clung as yellow stockings to thickening mass,
Arms so delicate, reached out for your Dad,
The Pikachu now a costume on a woman so glad.
Mom spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,
And pulled down my stockings, then began with a jerk,
Both kids covered their ears and turned away from each other, hoping their Dad’s story was near its end…
And laying a finger aside my nose,
She gave a nod, and up the chimney I rose;
She hopped on her sleigh, to me gave a moan,
And away we both flew, no longer alone,
I heard her exclaim, as she reached a new high,
”Happy Christmas my love, now grab hold of my--”
“Dad stop! Please stop!” Lisa shouted, snapping Dad back to reality.
He fumbled in his chair and freaked out, aware of what he had just done.
“Dang it! Kids, t-this is why I didn’t want to tell you! Oh jeez…”
“It’s real?” Billy shouted. “Mom is a Pikachu!”
“Yes, I mean no. She was a Pikachu. None of that matters now.” Dad nervously tried to explain.
“Does that mean I’m a Pikachu?” Lisa shrieked.
“I-I don’t know!” Dad panicked. “Maybe, I mean no. I don’t know?”
The front door slammed and Mom entered the room.
“Honey, are you traumatizing the kids again?” she sternly asked.
“I’m sorry I… I told them how we met.”
“Wait, you what!” she yelled, dropping her shopping bags.
After calming the kids down and convincing them Dad was lying, Mom sent them both to bed. She then returned to her husband, furious.
“You know, if I was still a Pikachu I’d fucking thunderbolt you.”
Dad apologized, trembling in fear. Mom gave a shrug and then welcomed him into her arms.
“Look, I don’t want the kids being freaked out for Christmas okay? They don’t need to know about that me. All I am now is their mother and your wife.”
Her warm smile brought one out of Dad and they cutely rubbed their cheeks together in a manner similar to what Pikachus often do.
“Happy anniversary dear.” Dad softly muttered before looking around the space where they stood by the fireplace.
“You now, this is where it happened, heh.” he said.
“Oh fine, you silly prude.” Mom giggled.
The kids didn’t get much sleep that night, weird sounds of their Mom mimicking a Pikachu keeping them up. Christmas would never be the same.
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